03 September 2001
Contrasts from Yesterday
Yesterday has crystallized in my mind as a day of contrasts.
We went and visited Callie's dad yesterday. I haven't written much about it, but he's a very independent man whom I've known longer than I have known Callie, and his health has declined precipitously in the last year, to the point where he requires the care of others (as in, skilled nursing care). Some days are better than others for him, and yesterday was a particularly lucid day. In some ways, those days are much harder on those of us who are his loved ones, because he realizes his plight, which is very tough for an independent strong person. In short, about all we can do is show him we love him, and encourage him, but ultimately there is no getting around the fact that things will never be as they once were in his life.
Contrast that with my growing impatience with people who just sit around bitching and moaning about how bad their lives are, and refuse to do anything about it when it is FULLY within their power. No, for the paranoid out there, I'm not referring directly to anyone on the internet (not my style), although I suppose most of us have seen the attitude reflected on the net also. That attitude in which a person almost obsessively focuses on the strikes against her, the circumstances that conspire against her, the envy of people who are (by all appearances) successfully overcoming similar obstacles, and the general unwillingness to take steps to fix ANY of it. Often times, people with this attitude are engaged in behavior (heavy drinking, neglect of responsibilities, abuse or at least disregard for friends) that is entirely DESTRUCTIVE and perpetuates the situation. And they beg sympathy where they can find it.
So much for the general and vague. Yet another contrast: a set of real-life friends who have been through more health problems in the past 6-9 months than anyone should ever have to deal with, and have made nary a whimper about the circumstance -- they have just overcome it all, and continue to work towards achieving their values.
I'm all for people living up to their potential, and I will always push people towards it. But my close friends are going to be people in the latter group, not the middle group -- and at some point, I don't even want to be AROUND the negativity. There's only so much energy I'm willing to expend on the self-destructive crowd before focusing the energy and resources elsewhere. I guess that makes me a selfish objectivist extropian?
[Posted @ 12:03 PM CST]
