Houston's Fine News Men
KHOU Anchor Greg Hurst
I'm not sure what is worse -- Channel 11's Greg MyHairSureIsPretty Hurst sitting at the anchor desk, or filing reports like this from Iraq:
There is chaos on the streets of Baghdad where looting is an ongoing problem. In many regards Baghdad is like the wild west, except with deadlier weapons.Actually, it is changes in verb tense and terrible grammar, one sentence fragment at a time.Local police held a man they thought was a bank robbery suspect. The man said he was just looking for a job. While the man pleads his case; the officers went back into the bank looking for more opportunistic suspects.
Not far away there was another disturbance in the streets. Soldiers from the Army's 3rd Infantry Division patrolling the streets run into looters at the Ministry of Planning.
"We caught them stealing," said Sgt. Michael Lucas. "They're local thieves, we call them Ali Babas. So, when we catch them in these buildings, looting in the neighborhood we stop it to try and help out the local authorities. And now we are making them put back all the stuff they stole back in this room."
It is swift justice, one piece at a time.
Bad bad bad. So bad the guy probably couldn't get a job at the Comical. That's REALLY bad.
Greg Hurst would be the same guy who, when criticized for being a lightweight, promptly wrote a letter confirming his weight as somewhat less than suspected, as Rich Connelly notes:
Weightless Channel 11 anchorman Greg Hurst apparently is very eager to show that he's not a mannequin, dammit.Greg's a stand up guy. And why not -- with that much polyurethane on the hair, it's not like the wind is going to mess it up.Inside Houston's Gary Michaels wrote a one-sentence review recently of Hurst: "The toughest thing about reading the news for a living is pretending you didn't get the job based on your looks."
Hurst responded with a bizarre two-page rant that showed that, while he may not have gotten his job because of good looks, he definitely didn't get it for his grammar. Or his modesty.
"You are stating that my position, and perhaps even my success over the past 20 years, is related to my appearance and not my hard work, experience; my intellect or my sagacity," he wrote. (Sagacity?)
He then reeled off an impressive array of comma splices: "But then people of true character, can see beyond their own short comings."
"Perhaps I had come to take journalistic acumen, and professional probity for granted." (Probity?)
"Furthermore, after reading James Fallow's [sic] book Breaking the News: Undermining Democracy in America. I can now clearly see, to whom he was referring." (Reading?)
"Where is it written that a journalist must have survived a flesh consuming chemical fire to be considered thoughtful and credible," he asked, or at least he would have if he had used a question mark.
Hurst thundered that he was chock-full of credentials: "I frequently speak to audiences about journalist responsibility; about principles grounded in not only objectivity, fairness, and accuracy, but also in perspective, analysis, and historical background," he wrote, again burning up the comma key.
Thinks about that, Mr. Smarty Pants, the next time you see a report on a kid not trapped for very long down a well. That report is backed with not only perspective and analysis, but historical background. Or, as Hurst might put it, with "historical, background."
Hurst says he sent the letter "just to set the record straight." He adds, "I knew no one else would hold [Michaels] accountable."
As for the rebellious, rule-breaking writing style, he says he didn't remember making any mistakes: "I'll stand up for any of the grammar," he says.
[Posted at 22:55 CST on 04/22/03] [Link]
