Death, Spring, And Other Personal Musings
Sometimes this space is more of a political blog. Sometimes it's more of a personal journal. Tonight it's more of a personal journal, so if that sort of thing doesn't interest, this entry might be skipped.
My mom tells me that a funeral was held today for one of the nicest ladies in the neighborhood where I grew up. She and her husband lived across the street from us, and were an elderly couple even when I was a little kid. She always entertained us neighborhood kids -- even kept a sandbox for us -- and looked after us even when we didn't really know she was doing so. She was always learning, even as her eyes went bad, reading her National Geographic and her old Latin texts and countless other great books -- and to the extent us kids would listen, she would encourage us to take some interest in it. She lived an amazingly full life, and lived a really long time. I hope I can say as much.
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So what is the proper way to react when a friend seems to be fishing for information of a nature that would seem to compromise the nature of the friendship? And how does one know for sure? Usually, I'm not paranoid about such things, and so I tend to trust my "gut feeling." Especially when there's been an instance in the past that was much more blatant, and which I let slide without denouncing it (as I probably should have done, in retrospect -- it's not acceptable to me to use friends or be used by them). I tend to trust my gut feeling, but I just can't really know for sure. But it's disappointing even to suspect it, again. Too many people who "could be and should be" stellar instead turn out to be something less. Why do they compromise themselves that way? And why do they look at me like I'm weird for wondering this?
And yeah, this is vague. Deal.
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On a similar note, I really don't like being lied to. As my friend Mr. Hutchison once said, "You can never trust a liar." It's an inside joke, but there's no need to explain it here. I just purged a liar from my life today. What was it I wrote above about being disappointed?
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On a more cheery note, spring has hit Houston in a big way. I've even run the air conditioner the last few days. It all has me itching to get out backpacking. I think a short trip is in order this weekend, and maybe a Ouachitas trip next weekend. Having the dissertation draft done is a relief, as I can plan these things without guilt.
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Unless, of course, the dissertation readers want changes. The two main readers on my committee now have the draft, and I hope they don't want me to do anything major, because I really want to spend the next two months in the woods for the most part. A LOT. I didn't get out at all last year other than some dayhiking, and that will not happen this year.
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And while I used to complain some about work, I should add that it's good to be able to get away so frequently, and to have a nice amount of flexible vacation time. My friend Mr. Vaughn and I were having this chat over the weekend, and we both agreed that yes, it would be great to have tons more money (to buy our gadgets!) and maybe even more professional respect, but that working a 12-hour job that constrains one's leisure time, with deadlines that impinge upon hobbies and passions, isn't really worth that price. So if it's the choice between that and what we do (he and I both are relatively happy, I think it's safe to say, doing what we do in terms of substance, and in terms of the freedom it gives us), we'll take it.
* * * *
I have really grown to like Alan Jackson's song "Drive."
Ah, Red America.
But NASCAR does nothing for me, so I'm not a total redneck.
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That's about enough for now.
[Posted at 23:06 CST on 03/19/02] [Link]
