World Cup
I know, I know -- lately the old blog has had plenty to say about sports, and very little to say about books and politics and weird people I see in Montrose. But I've had nothing -- check that NIL -- to say about the one sport that seems to have everyone in the world BUT the United States wee-weeing all over themselves. Yep. Soccer. Futbol. Football. Whatever you want to call it.
And you know what? I still just don't care. I hope the U.S. beats Germany in the morning, much like I root for our Olympic teams in luge competition. I won't be tuning in, but I hope it goes well! But honestly, I don't care. I like American football, I like basketball, I like baseball, I like tennis (thanks to those Williams girls), and I will watch them all. But soccer? Doesn't do it for me. Sorry. Call me unenlightened, but I like sports in which the participants use their hands. Raises my interest level.
Anyway, that's just my obligatory rambling on the World Cup, not to return for four years, and really just meant to introduce this Tony Kornheiser column, which made me laugh out loud:
Look, soccer's cool. World Cup is big fun, because it's the best players in the world, and they do amazing things with the ball. But it's never going to take over America. For 25 years now the soccer people have been saying, "Tomorrow." Just wait until tomorrow, when the next generation of soccer players grows up. But tomorrows have come and gone, and generations have passed. Hey, we've already got futbol. It's called the NFL. They fill 70,000 seats every game, and when you get "tackled" there, pal, believe me, you get tackled. There's no "Injury Time" in the NFL; this ain't no disco. (Talk about delivering a huge hit, though, how about the flying head butt that Mexican guy landed on Cobi Jones? Oooooh. That was strictly Stone Cold.)Soccer gets a big run every four years, like the Olympics. We glom onto World Cup because we're Big Event people. When we're going good, like we are now, it creates an excitement the whole country can get lost in. But soccer will always feel like a foreign game here, because it is. Americans like sports where they can use their hands -- football, baseball, tearing into barbecued ribs. Did you ever see how Brits throw the tennis balls at Wimbledon? What a bunch of nancy boys. Americans have opposable thumbs for a reason -- to elevate us from kicking a soccer ball. My dog can kick a soccer ball, but she can't catch a 20-yard out. I rest my case.
I hope we crush Germany on Friday. I hope we pound them like wienerschnitzel. I hope we win the World Cup.
You wanna be on The Bandwagon, there's room.
Just don't ask me to steer with my feet.
[Posted at 21:28 CST on 06/20/02] [Link]
